Lord show me You in this place; in the waiting and hoping; in the sickness and uncertainty. This has been a time of wrestling, seeking, struggling and ultimately choosing to rest in His grace and comfort even when I don’t understand so much. It seems so many we know and love are sick right now.
One of my favorites songs, “First”, by Lauren Dangle, says, “I want to know you, I want to find you, in every season, in every moment.” Experiences make truths come alive as they become relevant to the season we are walking in. Lord, I have found You here. I know You more after walking through this with You. You are the goal. You are the reward.
“Life is but a Vapor” has been on my heart lately. “Teach us Lord to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” There were days that I felt like the chaos of our lives was too much. On a bad day, I might have thought that I was failing my children? Hadn’t I already upset their lives for the last 2 years by moving 3 times and making major changes, just to get to Honduras. Will they make it through these inconsistent school days and ever changing schedule.
What about their emotions? Watching their peers around them engage in the community with theatre, basketball, and other activities that they would have participated in, if we weren’t moving out of the country. I know that the Lord will sustain them in the move, but surely this is too much to be here in a holding place and not able to participate in Honduras or here either? I realize that these issues may seem minor compared to other’s life struggles, but I acknowledge that this is relevant to them, in their context.
And even though these thoughts come to mind on occasion, I am quickly reminded that Jesus is enough. He is sufficient. He will not leave us or forsake us and will give us strength when we are weak; and ultimately we will know Him more. I could not have known what it was like to walk through sickness or disease with a loved one until now. I could not really have understood the brevity of life, and how quickly our reality can change, until the surgeon came out and said that what we thought was a small contained tumor, had spread and was much more serious. I trust that He will use these experiences to grow us and prepare us for the work He has ahead.
So, while the rhythms of our life have been disrupted, I pray that there is a thread of consistency in our days, that speaks louder than the chaos. Laughter, music, God’s word, friends and family. I am choosing to see the sweet moments that God has given us to be together, all in one place—elementary age, junior high and high school; starting our class with bible and our favorite read a loud, “Kingdom Tales”. (How is it possible that with these age differences, we all agree on that book, and ask for another chapter?) Thank you Lord for that sweet blessing!); We have sung and danced to our favorite songs, “Old Church Choir” and “Broken Things”, which has become our morning routine before diving into spanish class. And spanish!!….the kids are doing amazing with all they have learned in preparation to attend bilingual school. The Lord also provided the opportunity for Carter to attend Worldview Academy Camp, which is a leadership camp dedicated to helping Christians to think and to live in accord with a biblical worldview so that they will serve Christ and lead the culture.
Richard and I have been challenged to keep up good communication when we are stressed and things feel out of control. We have created a “code word” that indicates we are running low on steam, and need each other’s full attention, and understanding. We think this will serve us well when we get to Honduras and experience difficult situations out of our comfort zone.:)
We are praising the Lord for the absolute joy of Richard being pain free for the first time in 2 years, enabling him to be active with the kids in ways that he was not able, because of chronic pain. How much more prepared is he to walk the mountains of Honduras, with this behind him?
Another surprise blessing in our time of waiting, has been the opportunity that we have had to build relationships with the family of the young missionary student, who will stay with us in Honduras. This wonderful, kingdom minded family has been a source of strength and encouragement, as together we share the excitement of the unknown adventures that lie ahead on the mission field, for both our family and their daughter. It has bonded us in a unique way, and we look forward to sharing in this ministry with them.
And, just in God’s perfect timing, He has orchestrated our hearts to have a peace about leaving for Honduras, on November 28th. He has turned our hearts back to anticipation once again. We are excited about setting up our home and experiencing our first Honduran Christmas. Our Honduran “daughter”, Nagelly, who spent the summer in the states with us, has promised tamales because she says it’s not Christmas in Honduras without them! Our friend Edwin, who translated for us two different mission trips, has said he will be waiting for our arrival and will help us find our way around town, translating when necessary. God is so good to supply all that we need. It is all about relationships. God has chosen to pass on the truths and the mysteries of His Kingdom through relationships. Thank you for walking with us on this journey of faith.
“There is no single way to serve God, but the point is this: We each have only one life to live to tell a story about Him, about His ways, about His love. And if we are Christ followers, then God calls us to use our gifts, to exercise our faith, and to become salt and light right where we are.”
― Sally Clarkson, Own Your Life: Living with Deep Intention, Bold Faith, and Generous Love