I doubted as we got back into "regular" life and we had very little discussion of such dreams. And, yet, over the last three years I have had times of great faith and prayer that the Lord can and will do something so much greater than I can imagine. I had no idea when or how, but I believed that God had something beyond what I could fathom for our family-I have read over my journal of heartfelt prayers on this issue and it is amazing to see it all coming to fruition. I have held on to the hope that we are ripening on the vine and we are in preparation. I pondered many things in my heart and kept a prayer journal during this time.
What amazes is me is how as I sought to know and follow Jesus more, my desire to follow my husband and be content with whatever that looked like,( ie; starting a business, home schooling, living in our small town) became more important to me than my adventurous visions and ideas I had for our family--- We began discipleship training and seeking to follow Christ as a family above all. We modified our schedule, and filled our minds with great teachings, bible study and mentorship. We were unified and it truly became our first priority----And just when my priorities lined up with God's will, in His timing, He began to reveal His plans for our family and bring the vision about through Richard. When he returned from Guatemala for the second time this year, he told me that he sees our family serving in Latin America! His confidence in the Lord’s plan is amazing! He said going there and experiencing it made it real to him and gave him the vision of what God will do with our family. I have great comfort in knowing that because it is SO out of Richard's comfort zone to take such risks, and it goes against everything his personality and ideas of what is "responsible and practical", that if and when we ever did something "radical" and apart from the "american dream", that it would be God who is orchestrating it and that it is His will.
Something so personal and miraculous happened the day after we learned more information regarding the reality that the church is going to send us as missionaries to Honduras. I was going through boxes in a storage area and came across a stack of Beth Moore bible studies that I had completed over the last 7 years. It struck my interest, and I grabbed them and put them on the table to thumb through my homework books. I picked up “The Beloved Disciple” which I had studied about 3 years ago.
To my surprise, there was a blue envelope taped to the back cover page that had never been opened. Trying to recall the assignment, I gently opened the letter that I had written, which was titled, “The Deepest Desires of My Heart”. Asked to write the deepest desires of our heart, for no one to see, I read my very own words…”The deepest desires of my heart are to lead an adventurous life as a Christ Follower. To delight in the amazing world of different cultures, sceneries, language differences and beauty. To teach my children that God is so much bigger and amazing than our world and people know. It is my desire to create a loving and joyous home full of learning and adventure. My truest desire is to use my gifts to lead others to Christ.”
The way God would lead me to this random box and have me find this note from so long ago, blows me away at how much He loves me! He has reminded me that since I am delighting in Him, he has given me the desires of my heart, and my desires have aligned with his will. I am overwhelmed!